Diabetes Beard of the Month - Ethan Suplee

Diabetes Beard:  noun  \ˌdī-ə-ˈbē-tēz, -ˈbē-təs\  \ˈbird\ 

Facial hair on a man, especially on an exceptionally obese individual, that is distinctly straggly, unkempt, crusty, disheveled, or poorly groomed so as to give him the appearance of being sickly and diabetic. 

Congratulations to actor Ethan Suplee! You may know him as lovable dimwit Randy Hickey on My Name Is Earl, or, if you're like me, you'll always remember him as Louie "I Just Gave Your Mama A Piggy-Back Ride And She Weighs Twice As Much As I Do"  Lastik - the offensive (no pun intended) lineman from Remember The Titans. This month, we salute Ethan's "I-may-only-be-in-my-early-30s-but-I-look-like-I'm-at-least-50 Diabetes Beard."  Well done, Sir.

Look at that filthy Diabetes Beard... disgusting. 

"Dia-what-ees?"

Good Lord! What a specimen! 

This guy could be a Diabetes Beard poster child.

See... like, literally on an actual poster.