You know what I'm sick of? Walking by terrifying homeless people on the street when I know they are going to yell at me or do something weird to me. But like a sucker I hold out hope every time that the hobo will just let me walk by in peace. Of course, this never happens, and every time I end up walking away more hobophobic than ever.
Just the other day I was walking down the street in Northampton and was approaching a homeless guy muttering loudly to himself. I braced myself, knowing what was probably coming, and as I walked past him he screamed at me, "I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF IN THE FIELD!' He absolutely shrieked it. What the fuck does that even mean? Is he some crazy 'Nam vet who's talking about "the field" as in war. Cause I didn't see any grassy meadows lying around.
So I have a new strategy for how to handle this type of uncomfortable situation. The next time a homeless person solicits or harasses me in the street with some crazy bullshit I'm just gonna flip out on him and scream crazy garbled bullshit back. Basically I want to out-hobo the hobos. Hobos don't have a monopoly on acting bat-shit crazy. Let's take it back from them. I don't think they'll know how to react. Try it.
No comments:
Post a Comment