Banana Vending Machines:
Whoa! Easy does it, Scientific Community - don't bite off more than you can chew. Just the other day, me and some of my pals who are engineering majors at MIT were discussing how truly incredible it would be if someone were to invent a vending machine specifically for bananas. I mean, it would have to be different from any type of technology previously known to mankind. This would be like our generation's moon landing!
Highlights:
- Quote from expert Jerry Parle: "This is a total new era for vending."
- Ridiculously overly-scientific terms: "Del Monte also developed a special packaging for bananas that keeps them fresher longer. Plastic loosely encases the banana...and helps control the mix of gases in its atmosphere that drives ripening." - so basically they invented a fucking plastic bag.
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